Masakali... Masakali...

Until today, the About Me part in my Facebook… Orkut… Blogspot… always read “I am what I am”…. Now I’ve found a new word to describe myself… Masakali (THE song from Delhi-6 movie).

It so symbolizes me… free bird. At least that’s what I try & wanna be.

• Free to think…
• Free to travel anywhere my heart yearns to…
• Free to live with someone I love…
  
• Free to read the books I feel to…
• Free to cook & relish what I like without bothering about health or diet…
• Free to wear clothes suiting my mood rather than follow some corporate culture…
• Free to be an atheist or theist… as it suits me at the moment…
• Free to break traditions… rather than following the code “do not be the first to break traditions”…
• Free to do the job I like to… like running a restaurant or juice bar or a library…
• Free to express my feelings, emotions…
• Free to have my own sweet little circle of friends… without any inhibitions…
• Free to watch even the stupidest movie on earth without people judging me on that…
• Free to own the out-of-date mobile phone model… and not having people stare at it…
• Free to listen to devotional songs without actually understanding what the lyrics mean…
• Free to trek up to a hill top, sit by myself on a dangerous cliff and wonder what nature is NOT…
• Free to sit under a slanting glass roofed room and watch the rain water slide & then drop to the ground like tear drops…
• Free to capture random moments on the digi cam…
• Free to catch up with people I love… whenever I feel to…
• Free to destroy men who exploit women and vice versa…..
• Free to feel fear and courage....
• Free to voice my difference of opinion of works of well acclaimed authors, celebrities, friends and foes…

The list goes on & on… In short, FREE is what I want to be.

Serve mankind…. when, where and how?

“I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity.” - John D. Rockefeller

The first half of this article is about this quote by John DR. It is Monday, the 16^th of Feb 2009. Came to office a little early and had few minutes to catch up on the current news on TOI – Bangalore Edition. The main reason I wanted to read the e-news was to get an update on the Ram Sena (Lord Rama’s army ??) & the pink chaddi campaign that happened on the V- Day.

There are many articles on these two groups about which I do not want to elaborate much. The once news that caught my eyes is about the decision made by the Ram Sena head about the pink chaddis they received as a sign of protest. If it would have been me in that position of getting thousands of free underwear free of charge (though in the name of protest), my first impulse would be to send them to the needy. That was exactly what was decided by the Ram Sena initially, as per the news paper. However, they decided against the noble idea and decided to pollute the environment by burning them. How stupid can people get??? Just ask few of your sena members to sort out the good ones from the heap and pack them off to the numerous orphanages or homes for the disabled. Ok… your sena is too proud to sort through the heap… because to them it might be an insult rather than make use of the opportunity to server mankind, even in a small way. If that is your problem, why not ask volunteers from these homes to help themselves with the stock. Ok… the sena has decided to burn them all… so will it be. What have I got to say here.

But hold… I too will have a day when my voice will be heard loud and clear through the NGO called iTONE Foundation ©. Heard of it before??? I doubt it. This is the foundation me and my partner have decided to initiate once we have the proper means. It means “In Times of Need & Emergency (iTONE)” Foundation. By the way, there are other “itone” organizations that is dedicated to medicine, job consultation, IT concern, iPhone, etc. Hope people do not get confused :). I wish no one else uses this name for a soul saving organization, before we get it registered legally. We (me & him) were discussing about the under privileged lot in India and wanted to do something for them. I was inspired by the article I read in last month’s RD – about Jet Li’s ONE FOUNDATION.

In my previous post I had written about how blessed and beautiful I am and of course, many of us are. But there are countless others who lack the basic necessities. When I read about One Foundation, I was wondering if we have one such in India. Even if there is… it will not hurt to have one more group called the iTONE Foundation, who will work to have a better tomorrow, starting today. In fact, I would very much like to adopt the policy of One Foundation, that is… 1 person + 1 dollar + 1 month = 1 big family. Because, though we have the heart to move mountains, we require the means, the money to get the equipments to move it.

In India, may be we can start each person donating just RS: 10 per month, towards a SOS activity. How less is RS: 10? A hot plate of samosas from the college and office canteen, a parking ticket in a cinema hall, half the price of parking ticket in a mall, a cheap ball point pen, a piece of chocolate, a part of debt you don’t pay back a friend or forget getting it back from a friend, and the list goes on. Our staunch beief is that our fellow Indians definitely would have the heart to spare 10 bucks every month for iTONE… coz one never knows when they would themselves be a benefited by iTONE.

To start with, few of the SOS activities we aspire to do through the our iTONE are

1. Provide scholarships to “eligible” students who cannot afford to pay their tuition fees (at least up to their higher secondary education).
2. People who want to quit being sex workers and start a more refined life in spite of knowing that their income would be far lesser than what they make now.
3. People who once were forced into being the bad-elements of the society and are willing to start a new life.
4. Collect and send relief funds and basic needs to places struck by disaster… either man-made or god-made.
5. Set up camps to create awareness to the public about AIDS patients in our society and help the unfortunate victims
6. Invite doctors and other experts to spread awareness about the effects of drugs, liquor, tobacco, etc to students

It is a long way to go… and according to us, no destination is far if you know who to ask for direction and guidance. Few milestones to cross are

1. Kick start this movement by getting this organization registered and copy righted.
2. Form a team of responsible citizens who share a common desire – to serve mankind.
3. Talk to volunteers and management of other NGOs to know how they work
4. Initiate celebrities (actors, authors, sport icons, etc) to support our cause… coz their words though few would reach far
5. To meet people in different walks of life to research on the feasibilities
6. To set a official web site and logo to project our ideas and accept innovative ideas from others like us. (Any web designer reading this willing to volunteer – for free?)
7. Open up a bank account dedicated to the funds of iTONE foundation
8. Meet the youth and the elders alike to seek their volunteer ship and contributions
9. Persuade our NRIs to become active contributors… etc

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But WE have promises to keep,
And miles to go before WE sleep,
And miles to go before WE sleep.

My request to the readers of this post to pitch in their ideas and guidance to help us move forward in serving mankind.

Blessed and Beautiful …

“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.” -- Mahatma Gandhi

I’ve never thought about writing about “beauty” again after my own post on Monday, May 14, 2007. Last week I had been to my cousin’s home. For some reason, I took out a stamp size photo of mine and she said she wanted one for her keep sake. I was glad that even she (whom I know since birth) prefers to keep my picture as a memento. But my happiness was short lived. She took out one of her photograph and started comparing facial features. After much evaluation, she repeated the same thing I’ve heard from few times before. It goes like this..” Your lips are defined, eyes are good… nose too seems OK… but somehow… the whole picture of you… does not look good. There is something negative about the way you look, unlike the way I do”. I could hear my conscience saying smoothly “Don’t bother”… but being a normal human that I am, I told her “sis, I’ve heard this before. So let us not keep exchanging the same info again”. She appeared very cool, ‘coz she was busy with the photos.

Since childhood, I grew up with cousins, friends and classmates who looked better and appeared beautiful. One cousin of mine had a pathetic nick name for me… ICU (inferiority complex YOU… as it comes in the Tamil movie Gokulathil Seethai – IC Mohan, if am not wrong). It actually took me years to come out of this weakness that grew with me. After this recent episode of photo comparison, once again I sat back to think in what way I am blessed and beautiful.

Let me list them here so that I can remind myself time and again whenever the ICU part of me peeps. I’ve a heart to be kind most of the times, mind to feel all emotions, a selfless ego, enough grey cells to work in the IT field (as my friends tease me…not much is required for my kind of job) and to analyse between right & wrong, am not deaf except to unruly comments like my cousin’s, am not blind to ignore the beauty around me, sturdy legs fast enough to catch the bus that starts to move just as I near the bus stop, strong hands to do all that I do, skills to come up with something creative, etc. What are my other blessings... a family with whom I can patch up even after the worst fights, friends to luv and be luved back, a job to keep famish away, soul to pray for everyone, a possibly bright future with a nice family and kids (am being optimistic), etc.

Actually speaking, everyone and everything that has and will make me smile even for a moment in my life time is a blessing. It might not hurt if I mention, even those moments and people who have or might make me cry are blessings to me in disguise.

With so many graces bestowed upon me, how can I think am not beautiful... or rather, how can anyone think so. So presenting to you all... the Bold and Beautiful... ME :D

Till Death Do Us Part....

When two people decide to part ways, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to --- HELEN ROWLAND

It is a really tough topic to ponder on, given to all the things I've come across... seeing few being relieved to be separated and few others in tears after taking the wedding oath to stay together forever. There has always been this confusion about when it is fair to seek a divorce. Be married for a very short period, say a couple of years.. then they say "you have lived with that person too short a period to judge each other and seek a separation. So you need to put in more years to know enough before deciding". Ok, fine... they were married for around 5-10years.. and the crowd crows "Didn't you know you were not compatible for so many years? There definitely should have been a bond that should have kept you guys together for so long. Rather than breaking apart, you should rebuild the bond". Now, there is this couple, married for 20 long years and now want a divorce. And there is this noise you can hear around saying, "come on... you know each other so well and have been part of the other's life for two decades. What will you achieve by parting now. You DO NOT have an identity as "you" any more. The society always will recognize you ONLY as Mr & Mrs Couple."

Hello... will someone not stop this nonsense of advicing when the couple could find some peace. It sure looks like a brave deed by the couple who have divorced but trust me, it is not that easy. The trauma one goes through is a psychological pain equivalent to triple coronary bypass surgery. Read this comparison on the net. How true!

While in India, and from a "typical" middle class family run more by the "4 people (aka society)" rather than the family members, being married or separated is merely a influenced relationship. Wait.. I do accept that love does exist in many surviving marriages, but scenes are different in other households. First, the girl is forced to marry a guy because he is educated and is employed. What about her likes/ dislikes for the guy? Her cries reach but only to deaf ears. Then there is this emotional blackmail of their family "prestige" being ruined. So, the girl being an emotional freak herself, brings herself to the level of a slaughter animal and gets married any ways.

Now the real problem starts. The girls instincts did not fail her. The couple knew from the very first month of their married life that they were not meant for each other at all. To make matters worse, the in-laws did all they could to blame the girl for all the misunderstandings by intruding into what the girl cooks, eats, wears, spends, who she talks to, about her jewelery, when she can visit her parents, etc. But took NO step to ask or think what was wrong with their son to make the girl not like him (the word HATE here would sound too harsh). Sounds simple.. ha? Wish the readers would get into her shoes bare foot, walk a while to know the bites.

Here is another incident that happened to a not-so-close second cousin of mine. They were married for 7 long years. May be it is the height of the seven-year-itch, as they say. The man wanted a divorce. Reason: the lady could not bear him a child and is a talkative. The lady wanted to stay put in the relationship. In spite of : he being a drunkard, incompatible, lets his sister boss her around, lets his parents to abuse her emotionally and her parents financially. I really do pity this girl. I have also seen couples who support each other emotionally in spite of not being able to have children.

I can keep on giving episodes of all the painful separations that happen. Opposites do attract... in magnets. However in a relationship, there ought to be more compatibility to stay attracted and remain together forever. I do not think there are any couple in this era can claim that they could keep on admiring all the differences they have and live contented for ever. Another possibility is to learn to appreciate the differences, search for things compatible, work on it and make life more peaceful.

Please note...Neither do I quote that MEN are the root cause for the break in a relationship nor do I say that people should get divorced immediately without trying to make the relationship work. I wish these birds do not become vulnerable after the painful episode in their lives. It would be best for them to grow new, strong wings, face the wind and reach new heights, lands and achieve more. My second wish and prayer is that the Indian society does not treat them any lesser than the so-called-happily-married women.

“As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world, a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow.” --- Arthur Christopher Benson

Hmmm it is quite some time since I wrote (spelt as s-c-r-i-b-b-l-e-d) something. In a way to end the year 2008 in a very pleasing way, I went to two religious places with family. Yeah… I know its not like me to go out with family… but I did. Wanted to pen a few things about the trips… a long one.. beware :)

Trip 1: An “on an impulse” visit to Puttaparthi with mom.

It was around 8am on 20th Dec… a sunny Saturday and I had all the possible excuses and reasons to stay home and laze around. But mom had this feeling of visiting Puttaparthi after watching the Sathya Narayana Pooja telecast from Prashanthi Nilaya. And as a good daughter (that I am not), I decided to take her to Puttaparthi for the evening darshan of Sathya Sai. I told her clearly… we are to return back the same day since we did not know anyone there nor did we know the place. But as always, I was the first person to pack an overnight kit minus the essentials (soap, tooth brush & paste). I enquired around and made sure that Sai was in Puttaparthi and started our trip. Reached Majestic Bus Terminal at around 12:30pm which meant we won’t be able to return the same night. Again, we were enlightened with the information that the 1pm bus was not available that day and had to take the 3pm bus.

I really want to share a small episode that happened in the bus station. The bus to Parthi came at around 2.30pm. After boarding the bus, I asked mom to stay put and went to rest room. Just as I came out, I noticed a young girl (Rathna) crying a lot. The keepers of the rest room were talking to her. Being a person who does not trust anyone, I assumed they were abusing her and spoke to her. She told me shes from another town which was 3hrs away from Blore and she had ran away from home since her parents scolded her often and that she didn’t know what to do next. She was crying so much that a small crowd encircled us to watch the drama but not many to help. A guy in the crowd was a little too generous. After much coaxing and advising, Rathna agreed to go back home and got her relative’s phone number. The generous guy waited until I spoke to the relative in my broken Kannada and Ratha finished her story to the relative. Finally the relative assured to come and take the girl back home. In fact the guy (in the crowd) took out 200-300rs and asked her to go back. May be his intentions were good… but the way he kept touching the gal’s hand to offer money didn’t look very appeasing. Finally, I had to leave the girl with the care takers there and had to go on the way to Puttaparthi.

While all this was happening, another thing happened in the bus in which mom was waiting. A very humble looking lady seems to have spoken to mom in Tamil about the seats. They picked a conversation and both looked pleased when I came to the bus. It seems that aunty (Lakshmi) is a resident of Puttaparthi and is a staff at Prashanthi Nilaya. She offered to take us to her home to refresh and on reaching there, she also arranged for our stay there with her a boarding house just next to hers. Since it was very cold, she even woke up early to get us hot water for our baths the next day. Though she did not come along, she helped us with all the needed details to have a very pleasant and memorable 2 days visit to Puttaparthi. In fact, we were even happier since our trip was complete after the morning darshan of Sai.
These two incidents made me realize “What goes around, comes around”. I felt the need to help the girl Rathna and it came back to us in the form of Lakshmi aunty. Don’t you all think so?

Trip 2: A not-so-well planned visit to Manthralayam with relatives.


(I started writing this blog during the first week of Jan 2009 and am trying to finish it today. Many thoughts, memories and opinions that were flooding my mind then have trickled down a lot. I still continue to write about this trip to remind myself details about it.)

Dec 28th, 2008 – The last trip for the year - to Manthralayam with 11 relatives, inclusive of my parents. My uncle (dad’s cousin) told me that we will reach Manthralayam the same night at 11pm. That’s 13hrs from Coimbatore, my home town. If I had travelled that long in a flight, I might as well have reached US of A, taking the shortest route. But I was all ready to visit Ragavendra Swami in his abode. Yes… visit him, because as history & news quotes, he is still alive in his Jeeva Samadhi. (Samadhi means higher levels of concentrated meditation…. And not death). I just found the exact meaning. I assumed Samadhi meant “dead”. How ignorant!!

We had the usual family train travelling experience, with food packed from different families, shared, complimenting – sharing recipes if it tastes good, giving hints for better tastes, gossiping about relatives, about movies, etc. We crossed Puttaparthi en route to Manthralayam and it actually felt good to revisit the rail station.

We reached Manthralayam by 11pm, lodged at APTD guest house. The next morning, we went for the 8am Dharshan. Since it was a Monday, there didn’t seem to be much crowd. As usual, I became very pious when in the temple and could feel the vibration of… don’t know what that is.. but I get a feeling of presence of something… someone…who you can trust. I feel this more when I talk to Lord Krishna.


After that we hired a cab and left to a place called Nava Brindhavan, which is in the banks of the Thungabadra River in the state of Karnataka. We had to cross the then slow flowing river in a small motor boat to reach the temple. This place is revered for the Samadhi of 8 saints. The place was quite but for few tourists/ devotees like us. I wanted to take a dip in the cool river, but time set a constraint on my small wish :)

From there, we travelled another 15km to reach Hampi. Here again we had to cross the river to reach the Virupaksha temple, which is said to be the oldest temple in that region. Monuments and architecture never seize to astonish me. The temple was just so AWESOME. The sculptures, the layout was all so beautiful… and so was the mood of the people there, most being tourists. The enthusiasm there was so infectious that it seems to catch the entire crowd there. Unlike Bellur/ Halebid, was able to find a lot of westerners here. I heard from localities there that these people stayed there for quite some time to study about Hampi and its rich culture. I indeed felt proud to be an Indian and part of the heritage.

The best thing I liked in this age old temple is the the image of the main Gopuram that passes through a small vent in the wall and its reversed reflection is seen in a small room well inside the temple. The scientific knowledge of our ancestors does not fail to keep our modern thoughts humble. Again, cause of time constraint, we had to return without feasting our eyes on the other monuments in Hampi. We returned back to Manthralayam.

The third day of our trip, we had time until 12.30pm, the time we would board our return train. So it was decided that we will take our bath in the supposed-to-be holy Thungabadra river and all of us headed to the bank at 6.30am. To my dismay, a small dirty pool of water was all that said a river actually flowed there during the monsoons. Though my relatives did take a bath there, I though against it and came back to the lodge and had a decent bath. Now I sincerely prayed that the source of the tap water wasn’t the ‘river’ or at least it was processed well. High hopes… ha!

Once again we went for Dharshan and had a good one too.
We were told that there is Anna Dhanam (food distribution) in the temple and it’s would be a blessing to have food there. I even got coupons for the meal. But now is the saddening part. I saw a placard directing us to a dining hall inside the temple campus itself. On enquiry, they told me that the food will be served at 10am. I took my parents and relatives to the place only to be humiliated. They said this place is ONLY for Brahmins and that food will be served in another hall outside the temple campus, for non-brahmins. Not just the Brahmins working in the temple… just any tourist who claims to be from a Brahmin family. In fact, the guy there did not even give us the holy water (theertham) and shooed us off. All of us were really upset. We were grumbling among ourselves about this untouchability that is followed here, a temple which was built on the land donated by a Muslim. Another tourist, should be a Brahmin by birth, said that’s because they will have to tell their pious Gothra and some sloga there. What the heck. Does that mean all non-Brahmins come from bad Gothra’s and are not children of God. He also suggested that we can just tell our gothra and have food from the Brahmin dining hall. But we didn’t want to do that.

Later I asked a friend (of Brahmin birth) about this and in fact, he had reasons to justify it. I too agree that if the dining hall is exclusively for the Brahmins who work in the temple, then all is fine. Every place… be it a temple or a corporate office, it had its own dining area for the employees. But how can any sundry tourist with the sacred thread on this chest and a different slang be allowed this honor. I wish someone would remind the temple management the principles of the great saint Ragavendra Swami.

With a little bitter feelings and lot of cherished experience we returned from Manthralayam. I do not know if I would go back to Manthralayam again (unless I get a divine instruction to come there), I would most definitely go back to Hampi someday, stay there for 2-3 days, at the least, and explore more about the place or just to sit in the high rocks to watch the sun rise and set. I forgot to mention the most important thing that kept me surprised. The whole area, be it Manthralayam or Nava Brindhavan or Hampi… all had huge rocky hills on either side of the road and the banks of the river. Each mould made me wonder how nature holds these rocks together. Hail Nature!

She can change your life…

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”

In a sense, yes! She did to mine! May be… just may be… she can change your life too, like she did to mine, though not to the greatest extent. I can tell you how.

In your busy schedules, at times you have the heart to not feel guilty and indulge yourself to a nice hot dinner, a comfy couch (bed in my case) and a TV-DVD all to yourself and no one to judge you about the dress your wear, the angle you are inclined to and the movie you have settled down to watch. Sounds like fun. Isn’t it? In the recent days, I’m seeing more such lucky nights J

And the movie I saw yesterday was Amelie from Montmartre (the English title for the French movie Amélie). I want to write so much about the movie but don’t want to write a review of it and spoil the fun of watching the movie. On any given day, I would recommend this light heart-touching comedy flick.

A one liner about the movie… it is about a girl, obviously named as Amelie (played by Audrey Tautou), who has a cute little mischievous smile throughout the movie. She happens to help a 50yr old man get a glimpse of his childhood through the toys she recovers and how the happy-tear filled face of the man prompts her to help people around her. She goes out of her way to help others but she realizes through another person that ‘self help is the best help’ and finds her love. She understands that letting go of fear can do wonders.

Needless to mention are her wild imagination of things happening around her. The unspoken moments that Amelie shares with Nino (her love) are short and sweet. The extra second that she lingers while kissing on his eyes… is just so cute. And the ‘am happy and contended’ expression on her face when she goes around in the streets of Paris in Nino’s moped seems to make her entire life seem fulfilled.

Coming back to how she influenced me… she made me to realize that helping others is not always the best option… helping ourselves to get what we want is more important, even if the attempts are small and the need trivial.

Definitely a ‘do not miss’ movie… she is out there to change your life forever.

Hero Worship……..

Hero-worship exists, has existed, and will forever exist, universally among Mankind.

Always wanted to write about few people who are in my list of heroes and who I hero-worship shamelessly. In fact my list of heroes is never fixed… it keeps moving up and down like the equalizer in WinAmp with different colors as well. Red for most favorite, amber for steady favorite, green for recent favorites, yellow for those I like but don’t dare to disclose to anyone and those who drop off from my list get merged with the black background.

Anything uttered by Rajini kanth (always red in my equalizer) off-screen can make me ponder over that for many days to follow, even if it sometimes is controversial to his earlier quote or is outright illogical. He inspires me to set a style of my own (no luck yet), to travel around the world, and also to leave everyone I know & abscond to the Himalayas, Rishikesh or Haridwar. Then there is this guy named Kamal Hassan… who haunts my dreams only as the numerous characters he has portrayed or rather lived on-screen. No words to describe that. Any nonsensical so-called-romantic dialog articulated by Ajith and Brad Pitt on-screen can bring butterflies in my stomach. Then I do like Ganja Karuppu (listed under yellow)… with his horribly shabby appearance and funny accent. And I used to be in so much awe for Sidney Sheldon, until I realized the person is a HE and not a SHE. Still I do esteem his books and wouldn’t mind reading all his novels for another umpteen times. I have heard enough to hate Hitler, but somehow, his crude courage in his 5 feet body inspires and shocks me simultaneously. I love Calvin and would do anything to have a kid like that (Of course, if I get the boon of immense patience) and make my life more interesting. Ok…… I know am being silly. But they are few of my heroes and I do worship them. Who is to say not to?

Now is the reality bites part. The sad part is these people in flesh or fiction don’t even know that I exist. Does that make a difference to the way I feel towards them? No, it does not. Neither do I want to meet these folks and spoil the glamour I feel towards them.I was searching for a quote to be used for my GTalk and happened to see this one “Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody, and to that person whatever he says has an enhanced value”. How true!!

I sit back and think about some people who crossed by path and made a difference. All my friends and relatives are my unsung heroes and I don’t have it in mind to talk about them here. An example of people who inspired me… my teachers Bama(math) & Nagalakshmi (English) in school. Is it because I adored them that I liked the subjects or is it vice versa? No idea. Whichever way it is… both have been a very pleasant feeling. There are many more people who I have come across… who are heroes in their own little and big way.

Hmmm… I thought of not writing about my relatives as heroes. But I do want to write about by brother (anna) who has always been my hero. Is it because he was my first play mate, or was it because he was my first friend, or was it because he was my first study mate, or is it because I realized he was my sibling and not just a play mate, or was it because he is guardian, or was it because he is my role model or is just his presence in my life… I cannot think of which makes him my real-time, all-time hero in flesh and blood.

Whatever it is… he means the world to me yesterday, today and many more tomorrows to come. There have been times when I trusted his every motive to be beneficial to me and the days when he boasted that I am the best sister anyone could get. We crossed days when I thought he was the most selfish person on earth and me the most ridiculous being. There have been days when I did not want to hear his voice at all and then days when he made sure to avoid talking to me. There has been too many not-so-happy events in the recent days where I am put to test about the hero-worship I have towards anna.

I wish people realize that we can create lifelong connection only with some and cannot be forced to stay put with someone just coz someone else wants you to. I wish life was much easier and people can keep aside any hard feelings. I wish, I wish, I wish…. Too many wishes and very little time to wait to for the wishes to become true. I am trusting only on the hope I have, to set me free, coz I have realized that that fear can only hold you prisoner (The Shawshank Redemption)

Gosh… the blog was intended to mean and sound something nice but it has ended in a sad way. I do not have any intention to change it. As I always say… this page is a vent to my feelings and am glad to let out some pressure through this.