The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them

For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that you use it so little.

Today morning, while I was on my way to work... I felt some old memories spring up for no reason at all. It took me back to the Ganesha temple near my childhood home. I visualized myself go around the temple.

Then bang.. it hit me why I remembered that place. It was this not so common sweet fragrance that floated in the early breeze of polluted Bengaluru. The melodious aroma of the flowers that used to grown in the temple. I don't know the name of it.. a tiny white flower with orange stalk. This plant was behind the temple and a garland made of this flower ever adorned the deity there.

As usual, this event made me think of many other trivial things that remind us of things we do not give time to think about.

Every time it starts to rain, I look up to see the drops fall between the branches and I get relocated to Bandipur National Forest where one of our teams outing was. And that leads me to have a fast forward view of many other good memories I've had when it rained, like the first time I had to eat ice cream when it rained and how I fell in love with it and made it a habit to yearn for ice creams when it rained heavily.

Just on another hot day, the zephyr took up a role of a mild wind and started a small whirlpool of dry sand and with it all the tiny things on the ground. This brought back memories of my early exploring days in my dad's village.

A good smelling barotta ( thats how the layered paratta is called in my place) takes me instantly to the small food stall near my school. Believe me.. even time I've yummy barottas, I remember the days when dad used to cheer me up by getting it from that shop.

A cool frenzied breeze hits my hair and I recall a beautiful evening in the Injambaakam beach behind the Sai temple. A rounded pebble or shell makes me get into the time machine & travel to either Rameshwaram or Kanyakumari. Any chocolate wrapper brings back the days when there was promotional offers of bring back 5 wrapper and take one candy free or making characters out of the wrappers by folding it in fans and placing a knot in the middle. Looking at the full moon brings back a a smile as I remember how I told a long lost friend that I wanted him to see the moon while I was talking to him over phone, telling how though miles apart we still saw things the same way, etc etc.

I can't claim that I only recollect only sweet incidents. Sometimes those bitter emotions of the past come up to the throat like bile. Life is but a two sided coin that adds value to the journey called 'existence'.

OK... thats it for now. I don't want to keep elaborating more on this. If this article helped you remember tiny such things that trigger long forgotten memories, I'd feel honored for that and very happy if you leave a piece of that memory in the 'Thoughts Expressed' option below.

Books! I dunno if I ever told you this, but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.

Each moment that you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world. And books make me happy.

Back in school, I had access to the library at school and to read the books recommended by teachers and thus they gifted me another new world. Thanks to my wonderful dad as well who gifted me a membership at a private lending library to read all the books that caught my mind and a subscription to RD magazine for more than a decade now. Wish I had the sense to retain all those books, since back then.

Completed school days… lending library closed out… and my reading spree reduced to a great extent until I knew some girls in my college class read books too… but I ended up reading all those the stupid M&B and Silhouette books and very few good publishes. Reading all those M&Bs made me think that all handsome doctors fell in love with the nurse and all CEOs with their secretaries, got married and lived happily ever after. I used to feel sad that having taken up Math as my major in college, I would never become a nurse or a secretary in this life :(. Then there was this Sidney Sheldon’s fan image you have got to have. If you have not read them as a being from Venus, then you are not worth calling yourself a literature fanatic.

Having friends with similar interests is a boon… at least when it comes to reading a lot of books… just so that you could share the books and save a lot of money ;)

Sasi was one such person who liked books… not exactly the kind I was used to, but then I am really glad she introduced me to Om Sri Hari Puthar (my way of pampering Harry Potter).

Then comes Sansu* (name changed to protect privacy :D) with all the qualities of a prefect (courtesy HP) who could suggest, lend and later gift very good books too. I read books to remind myself that books are fun and of course, to keep my imaginations alive.

My love for books got revived in Pune when I got to live with Anjum for 5 long months, for a project. Every minute of my time outside work was devoted to the VAST collection of books she had. Thanks to her… I never realized until then about how much I missed the divine moments alone with the books.

Now, most of my friends with a flare for books are not very near to me physically. But, the fires that they helped rekindle keeps me reading everyday… rain or shine.

This month’s books craze shopping got me 4 books and got all of them as gifts from our favourite book store Blossom Book House in Brigade Road, Bengaluru (Sansu introduced me to this place). To me, its the only good place in that zone, next only to nothing. I would recommend any book lover to try this rocking place.

The books that I got by luring my friend were...

1. The Name is Rajini Kanth – Dr. Gayathri Srikanth

2. Silence of the Lambs – Thomas Harris

3. Message in a Bottle – Nicholas Sparks

4. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus – John Gray - (Borrower is yet to return it).

I know this month is going to be fun with all the reading... Shree is all set to enjoy her days with her best friends.

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book. ~Author Unknown

Reading between lines and frames :)

I’m very famously infamous among my friends for the speed in which I read any of my books. I always knew that it is because I cherish each word in the story I read before moving to the next. But somehow, when I read academic books back in school & college or even now when I read some techie stuff to keep myself updated, I can literally see the pages fly off very soon. Am really not sure if I did read anything on this techie pages, let alone actually learn from that intellectual stuff.

I got to see this beautiful movie ‘The bridges of Madison County’ last year. Cherished every single frame of the movie. It is about a true love story that went unnoticed while the couple lived and made history after their death. No… am not going to write a review on that.
Last month, I got lucky to find that book (original print) in an Old Book Stall in Coimbatore. When I read the book, I felt the characters come alive and felt the movie repeat telecast to me. I was able to visualize every move of the people in the book. This, I thought was because I had already seen the movie.

“Not so fast”, said my heart, “this is what you do with all the books you read. That is the reason you take forever to finish a book”. I realize its the truth. May be everyone read by imagining the characters do the opera for them when they read any book. But to me, my heart and mind waits until even the back drop and the music match to the text that dances in front of my eyes. May be that’s the reason I take so long to read.

The same happened with me when I read ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ (Waiting for a chance to see this movie as well, to see if the visuals are as good as my imagination). The story was set in a time period similar to ‘Gone with the Wind’. Trust me… it took me nearly 2.5 weeks to complete the book with all this imaginations draining my energy :) This is what I would call ‘Reading between lines and frames’. I wanted the whole frame to be ready before I could let the characters do anything next. But it is really fun to read it this way. By the way, did I tell you, my great buddy Jesh introduced me to the classics like Gone with the Wind & Bridges. I wish more such recommendations come from him.

If one has the patience and love for imagination, I think everyone should try this. Only advice is, if you had borrowed the book from a friend, foe or a lending library… try to increase the pace of the creative thinking, finish the book without damaging it and PLEASE return it.

To me Books are my Best Friends.

God!!! We Survived

Guilty as Charged… But never on parole :)

I came across a post in a Discussion Forum reading 'TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70’s!!'

It was all about kids born before 1980 and the joy they felt as born-free humans. I noticed that it was not just me who very often pondered over the memories of childhood (like kolam, bicycle masti, etc).

It is so true that we were more crazy than the kids we see the since the past two decades.

The post had a lot of memories listed down... the few that reminded me of my own childhood are here...

* First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us, giving a chance to our children to be proud that their mother too didn't smoke or drink.

* We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took talking to strangers.

* As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags, just in case someone gave us a car ride.

* We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

* We shared one soft drink with four friends (pitching in everyone's weekend allowance of 1re each), from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

* We ate cakes and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

* We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

* No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

* The one photo session day in school was one of the most hated days of the year but still we got our uniforms pressed for the great day.

* We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

* We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. Most often, our friends became the doctors treating us ;).. Lest parents knew about it

* We made up games with sticks and rubber balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

* We rode bicycles or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

* This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

* We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And if YOU are one of them… CONGRATULATIONS!

I wish our kids would get a glimpse of the funny, cranky life we had and know what they actually missed. I bet my life to the fact that all the latest gadgets available could never show them the bliss we experienced years back.

If you remember such events from the past and that which are hard to see in today’s world… do drop a few lines about them. I know each one of you are thinking about them with a smile on your lips .. :)

I love walking down the street and seeing faces and drama and happiness and sadness and dirt and cleanliness.

Yesterday I was hurrying to catch my office bus when I noticed the huge trees on the 100ft road in Indira Nagar getting a trimming. When I say huge trees and trimming… I want you to imagine the magnitude. Thank God, it was just a grooming business that happened and not a complete destruction of the being that has seen more generations pass by than any human. I was wondering what it would feel like to get on top of those trees and do the task of chopping it off.

All said & done, who clears the mess that was left behind. This blog is not about cutting or planting trees. Today I write about the people whose life keeps haunting me since the day I started working in Chennai. My job there required me to start to office by 6.50am…when the city was just waking up and prepare for the bright day ahead.

My hostel was just around the normally very busy area of Adayar where people of all working class flock together. The few minutes I wait for the first bus to go to my office will remain ever green in my memories. The bus stop was just opposite to a Hindu temple and adjacent to a mosque. The heart melting music from the temple and the verses read in the Dharga failed to impress me over the other sound that fell as music to my ears.

It was the sound of the brooms of the street sweepers. I bet no one is as dedicated and patient like these people who do this not very pleasing job. Of course, they have taken up this job for feeding their family. In their hardship, I saw the gods I failed to see in any of the holy places.

The area I’m talking about has lots of petty food joints and Biriyani centers. With no proper garbage disposal system, the road corners become the major dumping zone for all the wastages. The stink & the mess would make anyone to puke if they stay there for more than few minutes. The workers I saw every morning cleaning up these mass looked more pious to me than Mother Teresa. But by the end of the day, it is back to square one.

In Bengalooru too, I push myself to work in the IT sector after having a glimpse of these divine beings every morning. Few of the regular cleaners see me almost everyday as I rush to work and know me too, that we smile at each other and move on.

After knowing the life of these people, I vow to myself every now & then not to litter & pollute my surroundings… but habits die hard. My attempts to store the biscuit/ chocolate wrappers, bus tickets, etc until I find a garbage bin have failed 50% of the times. I know am not a perfect citizen… but am still trying to help stop pollution. I wish you would too :)

Certainly this is a duty, not a sin. "Cleanliness is indeed next to godliness."

There is no real evil in life, except great pain; all the rest is imaginary, and depends on the light in which we view things.

For the first time in my very short blogging experience, today I write about some unpleasant thoughts that keep haunting my life recently…

Many know me as an extrovert, fun to have me around, bubbly, mature, etc. May be I am all that to the outer world. Only those very close to me realize that am a wet blanket at many occasions, a pain in the neck, and an indecisive, callow person.

Who actually am I? Why do I appear as two different person to myself and to those around me? I do not know. But the only truth I can stick to is… I do not fake about what I am to others, and NEVER to the ones close to my heart. Is that why they find me to be such a weirdo? If am a weirdo, why do I still find them close to me? What am I?

Too many questions… too many answers with lots of ifs and buts. Where would I find a teacher who would look into my answers to the questions I throw at myself and evaluate what is right and what went wrong. God… it’s a very complicated thought that keeps running in my mind and takes me into a labyrinth of unwanted ideas. But who decides which idea is necessary and which is not.

I know am rebellious in many ways compared to the kith I grew up with. Though the elders around knew what I was asking or doing was most often logical and practical… I was forced to succumb to the “society” culture that’s prevails. I’ve tried to be part of the so called ‘live & let live’ life and have often let others live their life rather than look back and decide to LIVE my life. I know that’s a huge sacrifice that I did. The worst pain a human can suffer is to have insight into much and power over nothing. That’s my story.

Love… what a complicated four lettered feeling. I’ve read --> “Love means exposing yourself to the pain of being hurt, deeply hurt by someone you trust.” Does it mean that to trust and love your family is to feel pain all your life? If I had known and was taught that love brings pain, I would have remained an atheist to love.

I would quote Vivekananda here - ‘This misery that I am suffering is of my own doing, and that very thing proves that it will have to be undone by me alone. That which I created, I can demolish; that which is created by someone else, I shall never be able to destroy. Therefore, stand up, be bold, be strong. Take the whole responsibility on your own shoulders, and know that you are the creators of your own destiny. All the strength and succor you want is within ourselves.’

They are too good to read and fathom the words. Wish I could get the strength to take the responsibility for my own miseries.

Sometimes waiting for a solution is the best solution. Other times, forgetting unpleasant moments are the solutions. “Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”

Sorry this one is a little depressing… I just found a small vent to my thoughts through this… I believe this outlet will take me through this day in a better way.

To all readers...Have a Great Life ahead :)

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane :)

Promotion again…. From the most loved position to not-yet-fond-of position.

All these days riding my bicycle (BSA SLR – Light & Sporty) and then my mo-bike (TVS Scooty EZ) was itself a mind blowing, emotion filled time for me. After more than a quarter century of two wheelers bliss, I decided it was time for a promotion.

Just last week, I completed my 9 days of the 10days’ 4 wheeler driving classes. At last I’ve crossed another milestone in my life. My wish to meet the growing traffic face to face, taking charge of the wheels, from within an enclosure named CAR, became true. This of course is an achievement to me, to drive out into the raging motor world not knowing who or what is on your left or right or below or behind. Ok people… stop laughing now… am talking about the first few days when I actually started driving.

Let me tell u wat happened since the day I went to get my Learners License. One such other day, my friend from office kept telling he had to leave early for the day & had some very IMPORTANT personal work. As with all, I bugged him to tell me abt it and his reason was to collect his Driver’s License from the RTO.

The little devil in me tempted me to take up the driving classes the very next day. I went all geared to the Driving Institute with 6 fotos, pport copy & other proofs. Got enrolled… met the assistant RTO… she assigned me to the written test to get the Learner’s License… I came out with flying colors…. Not on paper, but in my face. My face held the colors of shame, ignorance, embarrassment, etc … ‘coz I failed the test :D

With a never say No attitude, I went back after 2 days to get my LL. This time it was an Oral Test and I transferred the colors on my face to the result sheet and came out with a victorious grin.

From next day to the next 9 days, in the wee hours of the day (6.30am – 7.30am), began the wonderful adventure. With ABC started my class… Accelerator, Brake & Clutch.
It went on like left indicator… half turn to left… indicator off… right indicator on… full turn to right… slow down clutch break… clutch that gear.. clutch this gear, left-right-straight reverse… etc and more etc. Uffff…. What an experience…. Not to me but my driving instructor.

I know he would have seen more difficult students. But the tension I built up every time I saw a heavy vehicle near us, pushed the extra heat to him as well. At last day 9 class to is over. At some point during these days, I felt I should have opted to become a pilot 'coz I would’ve been able to drive alone on the run-way and fly alone in the sky-way J.

Am now waiting for the D-day when I can utilize the last hour of training and feel good that the 3000 bucks I paid was of worth only after I get the much esteemed Driver’s License.

Did I tell u something… I still don’t know how to use the wiper, parking light indicator, open the bonnet or the one behind… or to double park or to have a relaxed expression on my face while driving. I’ve to learn all these except the last point before I face the RTO officer. The thing abt the smile… I believe I’ll get it as my driving days keep increasing.

To tickle your funny bone a little: You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen; it said 'Parking Fine.'