Cradle of Mirth...

“When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies” - James Matthew Barrie

A little smile and a wet smooch from him would kindle a sense of mirth to even the saddest souls. Yes.. That’s what my one and half year old nephew is. He had come over from the US for a short vacation and I got to spend only fewer days with him. But those days will remain etched in my memory forever.

In the photos that my S-I-L shared over the years, we always saw a plump kuttu (the little one) with a lot of hair. Once they landed in the airport, we got really confused to see her carrying a leaner kuttu with a mushroom haircut and with really cool goggles. Initially I did not know what kind of emotion was flooding inside me when I saw my only brother’s kid. Then I realized it is because I’m seeing a part of my brother in him. Kuttu resembles my brother so much… which my S-I-L is not very happy aboutJ. All my elder relatives say my brother used to look just the same as kuttu looks now. I can imagine how my brother was when he was little. Kuttu is adorably playful but it seems by brother was a brat J

The initial days when he kept clinging to his mom was as adorable as when he got comfortable with our home and started walking around. The way he walks is like a little butterfly fluttering with its tiny wings. He bends his hands and raises it to shoulder level to balance himself. Can u imagine it? Wish you could have got the chance to see him walk/ run around the house. Kuttu just loves my mom… his granny. One call from her and he would drop even his favorite toy and go searching for her. And the way he heeds to his granny’s way of feeding him and bathing him is a sight that you can watch the whole day. Cutie pie. Mom calls him poonakutti (kitten). It’s because she like the ways his little pink tongue keeps coming out when he had his food just like a kitten. My happiest moment was when someone asked him where “athai” (paternal aunt) is and he immediately turned around, looked at me and gave his most beautiful acknowledgement smile.

I love the swing and so does my kuttu. Know what, my nephew is the next Sivamani in the making. He loves the drums and he tries his hands on all/any object he could reach and starts beating it like a drummer. And he likes to see the wheels go round-&-round in any vehicle that passes. I think that’s why he was so fascinated with the exhaust fan in our kitchen. He would walk into the kitchen and ask his granny to switch on the fan in his own baby language. The minute we switch it off, a sharp sound come from him. We used to switch it off again & again to hear him talk gibberish.

Kuttu just loves the SUN TV music. He does not take his eyes off the TV when they SUN TV logo music comes on. He even learnt to reach up to the TV and knock the TV screen when it comes. Also he likes to be photographed. The problem is instead of smiling from where he is… he would move his head forward and keep it close to the camera and wait for us to click him. Funny kiddo.

There are few things that kuttu does not like. He does not like to have his hair washed. That is he does not like it when the water flows over his face from his head. He hated sharp horn noises. Somehow he never wanted to drink water. So we started to include a lot of water into his main course food. He is kind of a cleanliness freak. His mom had mehendi applied on her hands and he dint want to touch it. It’s the same with food. He would ask anyone of us to feed him but never wanted to pick the food and eat it himself. He was ok with eating biscuits himself since they do not stick to your hand.

There is so much more to tell about him. I spent only few days and could not stop thinking about him. I’m jealous of my bother and S-I-L who get to spend every day with him and admire his every move. Whether or not it is my brother’s kid… a baby is always adorable and even a small movement of its little fingers could bring us immense joy. “A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”. I wish I too would get a chance to give the world a cradle of mirth of my own.

Hero Worship……..

Hero-worship exists, has existed, and will forever exist, universally among Mankind.

Always wanted to write about few people who are in my list of heroes and who I hero-worship shamelessly. In fact my list of heroes is never fixed… it keeps moving up and down like the equalizer in WinAmp with different colors as well. Red for most favorite, amber for steady favorite, green for recent favorites, yellow for those I like but don’t dare to disclose to anyone and those who drop off from my list get merged with the black background.

Anything uttered by Rajini kanth (always red in my equalizer) off-screen can make me ponder over that for many days to follow, even if it sometimes is controversial to his earlier quote or is outright illogical. He inspires me to set a style of my own (no luck yet), to travel around the world, and also to leave everyone I know & abscond to the Himalayas, Rishikesh or Haridwar. Then there is this guy named Kamal Hassan… who haunts my dreams only as the numerous characters he has portrayed or rather lived on-screen. No words to describe that. Any nonsensical so-called-romantic dialog articulated by Ajith and Brad Pitt on-screen can bring butterflies in my stomach. Then I do like Ganja Karuppu (listed under yellow)… with his horribly shabby appearance and funny accent. And I used to be in so much awe for Sidney Sheldon, until I realized the person is a HE and not a SHE. Still I do esteem his books and wouldn’t mind reading all his novels for another umpteen times. I have heard enough to hate Hitler, but somehow, his crude courage in his 5 feet body inspires and shocks me simultaneously. I love Calvin and would do anything to have a kid like that (Of course, if I get the boon of immense patience) and make my life more interesting. Ok…… I know am being silly. But they are few of my heroes and I do worship them. Who is to say not to?

Now is the reality bites part. The sad part is these people in flesh or fiction don’t even know that I exist. Does that make a difference to the way I feel towards them? No, it does not. Neither do I want to meet these folks and spoil the glamour I feel towards them.I was searching for a quote to be used for my GTalk and happened to see this one “Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody, and to that person whatever he says has an enhanced value”. How true!!

I sit back and think about some people who crossed by path and made a difference. All my friends and relatives are my unsung heroes and I don’t have it in mind to talk about them here. An example of people who inspired me… my teachers Bama(math) & Nagalakshmi (English) in school. Is it because I adored them that I liked the subjects or is it vice versa? No idea. Whichever way it is… both have been a very pleasant feeling. There are many more people who I have come across… who are heroes in their own little and big way.

Hmmm… I thought of not writing about my relatives as heroes. But I do want to write about by brother (anna) who has always been my hero. Is it because he was my first play mate, or was it because he was my first friend, or was it because he was my first study mate, or is it because I realized he was my sibling and not just a play mate, or was it because he is guardian, or was it because he is my role model or is just his presence in my life… I cannot think of which makes him my real-time, all-time hero in flesh and blood.

Whatever it is… he means the world to me yesterday, today and many more tomorrows to come. There have been times when I trusted his every motive to be beneficial to me and the days when he boasted that I am the best sister anyone could get. We crossed days when I thought he was the most selfish person on earth and me the most ridiculous being. There have been days when I did not want to hear his voice at all and then days when he made sure to avoid talking to me. There has been too many not-so-happy events in the recent days where I am put to test about the hero-worship I have towards anna.

I wish people realize that we can create lifelong connection only with some and cannot be forced to stay put with someone just coz someone else wants you to. I wish life was much easier and people can keep aside any hard feelings. I wish, I wish, I wish…. Too many wishes and very little time to wait to for the wishes to become true. I am trusting only on the hope I have, to set me free, coz I have realized that that fear can only hold you prisoner (The Shawshank Redemption)

Gosh… the blog was intended to mean and sound something nice but it has ended in a sad way. I do not have any intention to change it. As I always say… this page is a vent to my feelings and am glad to let out some pressure through this.