Jan 31, 2018 - What went well today?

A whole month of documenting only good things that happened each day.

1. Everyone around me keep telling me I've to be a fighter/ survivor for the kids sake. I will do anything under the sun for my kids sake. Such wonderful kids and to think I need to care for them as an almost single mom is overwhelming. Hope I find the strength each day to be there for them all the time and especially when they want me.
2. Wore an all black salwar suit to work with a beige waist coat with red-black prints. Loved the look.
3. Watched a little of Young Sheldon on a friend's Amazon Prime account and fell in love with the kid just for the fact that he resembles son boy so much. Asked his dad for the Amazon Prime account and the stupid me logged into amazon instead of prime. So... what went well today? I got my answers...  a clarity. That is what I wanted right now. God works in mysterious ways (if God does exist). Gives us the answers in the most mysterious ways. Amen!!!
4. Watched couple of Young Sheldon episodes using a friend's account. He is so cute. Loved it.
5. Its the blue moon day today. Kids were super excited to watch the moon become red and then white. My little girl freaked out at the words "nila-la grahanam paaru". Enjoyed her innocence and secretly found the way she got scared, funny. Oh my little darling. Love you to the moon and back.

Jan 30, 2018 - What went well today?

A great day, actually.

1. My motto from yesterday  - to look at only the good things paid off, I think. Had a sleepless night, hit with insomnia. But that made way to some "us" time  together though I do not know what conspired that.
2. In spite of waking up 30mins late, I made time for my 12mins of introspection a.k.a meditation. This really does seem to calm me the whole day.
3. Son left to school all excited to be the dentist in the school play and to practice his dance moves with his friend :)
4. Work was hectic and gave me little time to think anything else. Perfect.
5. Made pizzas for the family and all of us enjoyed except son boy. He was the one who wanted pizza but he was feeling unwell. But his excitement when we made it together was such a joy to experience. Love you my boy.

Jan 29, 2018 - What went well today?

A another day to be positive and spread good vibes.

1. Found my 15mins in the morning for my meditation and introspection. Day starts peacefully.
2. Son boy got ready and left to school without creating a ruckus. Thank you my darling. 
3. What's my motto for today (one day at a time), try not to complain. I tried really hard not to think of what's going bad in my life which is just one thing. There are million other things that are just perfect. Am looking in that direction now.
4. Reached office by 9:50am. Its been ages since I came to work before 10. Felt good to be in with only a handful of people around at that time.
5. Today I wrote "Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing." by Dr. Seuss on a post-it and put it on R's work station. She wasn't too excited about it like J the other day... but she was feeling OK enough that she wanted to insta it. Good enough for me :)
6. Son boy had drawn cute pics of cricket and tennis players. The detailing he had done to those stick figures... impressive my boy :)
   
   
   
   

Jan 28, 2018 - What went well today?

Another day with the extended family.

1. Lazy morning at cousin's.... breakfast served without having to enter kitchen to even do the prep work.
2. Kids having their own jolly time.
3. Yummy lunch from the hands of someone who genuinely loves you and has raised you since when you came into the earth. Karma or not, I am happy to be born in the family I am tied to.
4. Cuddling and cooing to the new born.
5. Back home early evening to get things ready for the busy week ahead.

Jan 27, 2018 - What went well today?

A weekend I was looking forward to.

1. No PROD deployments, no work tensions. Just a relaxed weekend. 
2. Took MIL and the kids to my cousin's place and the minute I saw their faces, I felt so belonged. Not like a stranger in my own house.
3. Kids had fun in the play area and the kids swimming pool. Especially, son boy had a good Saturday.
4. The love with which aunty dearest prepared food for me, much grateful. I missed mom but she is good enough for now. I need this family bonding time.
5. My cousin's elder daughter is a food processor with the top off... so full of energy and extreme naughtiness. A pleasure to watch, a nightmare to live with one :)
6. Her new born baby girl was a New Year's gift and was just 27 days old. Oh so cute!!! loved the feeling of holding a little baby once again. Relived the moments of holding N & N when they were that small. Babies never fail to make my heart swell with happy feeling and emotions.

Jan 26, 2018 - What went well today?

India's 69th Republic Day

1. Watched the RD parade live on TV, the one aired from New Delhi. Its a tradition we followed as kids and it felt emotionally nostalgic.
2. Holiday... so a day well spent with the kids. 
3. Watched a mokka film on Sun TV in the evening - VIP2. Some time pass.
4. Made plans to visit cousin and her new born over the weekend. And my aunt is here too... she is like another mom to me. She is proof that even if we don't agree with their outlook of life, you can still love someone. I do love her in spite of our differences. Hope I don't mess up this trip to her place tomorrow.

Jan 25, 2018 - What went well today?

Karnataka State Bandh for water dispute.

1. Had to connect from home for work and things went well... internet connectivity, VPN, Outlook, application, Lync... everything :)
2. Being home means getting to be around kids more than every other day. Baby girl is recovering from her severe cold and her naughtiness is getting bigger every day.
3. In spite of having a supportive family, friends, etc. loneliness is killing me... but I'm learning to overcome it one day at a time. I'm proud of myself and that's what went well today too.

Jan 24, 2018 - What went well today?

Feeling very positive today..

1. Wanted to leave one post-it with a positive thought somewhere in the office but the friend wasn't sure if it would be appreciated or if it would get me into trouble. So thought of sharing with people I know at work... today's quote was "One day you will thank yourself for never giving up". The friend who received this post-it told me it made her day. She told me the last two days were really bad and she came in to work today with a heavy heart. The minute she saw the post it, she felt it was a sign from above and it made her immensely peaceful. I am glad that I could cheer up someone just like that. Peace to all.
2. Met my confidante today at lunch at workplace. Spoke for a while with the other girls on things happening in her life and it put us to shame 😜. It was a fruitful meet. Nice to know people who we can open up to. 

Jan 23, 2018 - What went well today?

Another new day

1. Got seat in both the metro and bus during the morning rides and was able to read few pages from Origin.
2. Went for a leisurely walk post lunch with my girl from work and it definitely felt relaxing.
3. My boy built something with his blocks and he was super happy about it. I felt happy too.
4. Tried making a podcast kinda recording today and it was hilarious. I was laughing at myself at how I was talking. Far fetched dream... but was fun trying it.

Jan 22, 2018 - What went well today?

A new week begins

1. They say it helps find answers to one's problems... I would rather like it if there weren't any questions. Found 15 mins to myself in the morning for a little introspection, a.k.a meditation. Practicing everyday might help. I am positive that I can spare 15 days every morning to find myself. 
2. Was able to get son ready for school without any yelling and screaming for him to wake up. 
3. Evening, I was all set to shop my heart out since I was feeling low... but missed the bus stop and couldn't go where I wanted to. Funny enough, I felt happy for not spending 1000s just for the heck of it.
4. Kids... my kids.... they just brighten my day. I know all moms feel this... more so to me because of the trauma I am going through since Aug 2017. They remind me there is still joy and love left in the world and I get my share of abundant affection from where I require and not to hover over one thing for eternity.

Jan 21, 2018 - What went well today?

Sunday

1. Deployment went without a hitch.. done by 9 am.
2. MIL made my favorite roasted eggplant tamarid curry and was yum.
3. Craved for some snack and got to make one of favorite Ragi pakoda.
4. Completed watching a movie in 5hrs over 2 days... thanks to my kids.
5. Coming home to watch the kids rush to me and shower me with hugs and kisses, is what makes to worth going home every day. Kids grow up really fast and I wish to cherish all their innocent love and affection while it lasts. Love them to the moon and back.

Jan 20, 2018 - What went well today?

Saturday... PTM day

1. I assumed my kids' dad wouldn't make it to the PTM but he did. Thats a good thing for the son boy. He was super excited to have the entire family got to his school.
2. And ain't I a proud mamma... His teacher had only the nicest things to say about him.. the smartest in the class, the only one who knows to read all my himself, creative, and the list went on. So proud of you my boy :)
3. His school annual day is coming up and he plays the main role of a Dentist in a play. Can't wait to see him perform on stage.

Jan 19, 2018 - What went well today?

Friday... weekend is almost here.

1. Early morning... he returned home safe after his pilgrimage to Shridi.. not that he cares if I am concerned :D 
2. Got Shri Sai SatCharitra from him after being blessed by my Sai himself. I hope and believe good things will come for me and the kids. 
3. Did not wear the knee caps to work today... knee isn't that painful. The discomfort is reducing. Hope it wears off eventually. This has taught me to pay attention to my body, the only temple I've to live it and not take it for granted. 
4. Spoke to an old friend after days and felt extremely relaxed, accepted, supported and comforted. Thanks, my friend.
5. Went to the parlor and got my tired feet pampered... after ages I hardly remember when was the last time.

Jan 18, 2018 - What went well today?

1. Things at work went well... the releases and deployments and the verification.
2. Thursday it is... I wanted to have an one to one with Sai. Something kept hindering the plan.. I was angry with him for all the reasons he knows too well about. I avoided going to my usual temple... I did not want to meet him and get emotional. I purposely went with another colleague so I would not be taking my usual commute route. But like a magnet I was forced to go to the temple close to my home to which I had been years ago. Had a monologue with him and he kept looking into my eyes as if to say... shut up, I know what I am doing. OK.. that is me assuming he said that because I don't understand anything these days. I don't know to read signs from the divine, I don't hear voices guiding me or consoling me, etc. Whatever, I felt good none the less.
3. Kids... how I love them. The way they run to me and hug when they see me every evening... just priceless. That innocent affection and love... worth going back home every single day. They keep me alive. 

Jan 17, 2018 - What went well today?

Now, today was a great day...

1. Ethnic day at office following Pongal and I am all set to be happy today. Took courage to wear a sleeveless blouse for the first ever time, the one I bought exactly a year ago. One mental block overcome today even it took a year. Paired it with a (supposedly) Kadhi soft cotton saree that I bought last July but felt it would never suit me. But guess what? I totally rocked it. Many complimented.. friend took beautiful pics and without missing a beat, uploaded as the profile pic in all my social networking sites.
2. The kids' dad messaged that he had good, peaceful dharshans of my Sai at Shirdi. Happy for him.
3. He declared today that I will always be one of his best friends... and that would be our relationship for eternity. what should I be feelings? I was unaffected and completely at ease. A huge step for me. Proud of myself.

Jan 16, 2018 - What went well today?

Honestly, I don't remember anything from this day. Except the things that usually keep me happy.

1. My daughter's never ending hugs and kisses.
2. Son boy's shy hugs and no kisses  :)
3. They had been to a neighbor's 2nd birthday and looks like they had fun having loads of cakes and other sweet stuff. Their happiness was infectious.

Jan 15, 2018 - What went well today?

I should start writing everyday... its 19th Jan today and I already don't remember what happened just on 15th. But unfortunately, I remember things from many days, weeks, years ago as if its happening right now.

1. Very early in the morning I had someone to go to, cuddle when feeling lonely or not able to fall asleep... Felt good. Even if it was just for a while, and it has been officially declared as the last time this would happen.
2. My children's father said he is off to Shridi to see my Sai... I've been asking him for years and years that we would go. Being brushed off every time, its finally nice to know that he has got his calling even if he did not care about my requests all these years. Good for him. I prayed for his safe journey and wished him peace. When "best" friends influence, things do happen.

Jan 14, 2018 - What went well today?

Yey!!! It's Pongal Thirunal today..

1. What am I happy about today? Everything... starting first from the single morsel of grain that is created just for me. Like some ancient poet had once written, I strongly believe that ever grain of food that exists in the world had its consumer's name written on it - " Dane  Dane Pe Likha Hai Khanewale Ka Naam". I am thankful to the nature and all the farmers/ producers around the world who work hard to place palatable food on my plate. The price we pay for it is to repay for their hard work.
2. MIL prepared yumm lunch today... bringing back memories from parents' place which I had taken for granted. Lunch today had sweet pongal, okra sambhar, avare kaalu sundal, rasam, vadai and fried goodies.
3. Spent time today with the little ones playing their silly games :) was fun never the less.
4. Made a fool of myself asking for favors from him... favor asked was taken care... but I know it was not a thing he wanted to do. Thanks for being a human being... much appreciated. Thank you. 

Jan 13, 2018 - What went well today?

Saturday.. Boghi Festival

1. A lazy morning... a good way to start the weekend.
2. Had fun time with the kids... watched some TV.
3. On son's non-stop insistence, went out for dinner as a 'family'. The way the little ones enjoyed their evening out with the parents at their favorite restaurant having their favorite dish... can compromise anything to see their faces light up.

Jan 12, 2018 - What went well today?

From what little I remember of the day -

1. Watched FB - live of the Pongal celebration happening in son's school and thrilled me to watch his happy face when his teacher and principal prepared sweet pongal and explained the significance of celebrating this harvest festival. Pongal is my favorite festival ever because it gives us an opportunity to thank nature and our farmers for the food we survive on, which we take for granted every other day.
2. Went shopping for necessary clothing and got 2 palazzo and am happy I was able to get the ones that I liked.
3. Visited the doc with the routine tests, declared Vit. D3 deficient  and needed medication to supplement. Had to wait 1.5hrs to meet the doc due to the blunder of the doc's staff... was really pissed off and had to voice my dissatisfaction. Good side of this delay - I got to read a book on Kindle for the entire time without being disturbed. 
4. Friday... he is supposed to come back home after a long get-away... for work. Its freaking me out... but I'm being positive. I am alright... thats a good thing. He has come back for a brief stay (not sure how long)... exchanged pleasantries... went off the bed. So far so good :)